Experiencing a theme switch and it completely blindsided me. I feel very alone. This was the one theme I didn’t want. It’s not super awful my harm ocd was much more difficult but this one is way more isolating. I can’t share my thoughts 😭😭 any encouragement would help. Thank you..
When you want something not to happen with ocd itll happen, iy grips onto whatever will make it harder and thats why it seems so difficult. I have the exact thing and ik its difficult but you have to remember the thoughts arent you (i sound like a pick me omg) and the thoughts are ocd and not your own
@Anonymous This helps so much. I feel less alone thank you ❤️🩹
@ Skyline 🕊️ Its fine girlll plenty of people r going through the exact same thing as you! Its gonna b okkkk
@Anonymous Thank you! 🥹
To be honest I've been dealing with the same problem for almost a year now. I wish I could share some tips but I haven't really learned anything that would help. If you want you could share more of your thoughts and feelings, maybe speaking your mind out could help. Kinda like a journal but with someone listening 👍. I promise out of anybody in the world, I won't judge you for your thoughts and emotions. If you want to ofc, you're not alone.
@Anonymous I really appreciate you. This is very difficult. I was literally fine and then I saw an offender near you list and after little later in the day this all exploded. I don’t want to trigger anyone so I’ll just ask. Do you have any of these similar thoughts: why am I uncomfortable? What does this mean? Am I looking at them inappropriately? Did I just look at them inappropriately? And of course the occasional intrusive thoughts that I will not share.
@ Skyline 🕊️ Yeah I do pretty much and more unfortunately. I know hearing the whole "offender near you" thing can be a trigger but just know you're mostly not gonna end like them. I always see those types of things or videos catching them etc. and they use to trigger me a lot but eventually I kind of got used to it to seeing it, ig a type of "exposure therapy"
@Anonymous Thank you for sharing. I know this is so difficult. It really hurts because I want more than anything to be a mom. I was literally about to start trying to also. Just a rip to the chest. I wish it could just leave us all alone. And I’m not trying to give you reassurance here but you sound sane and like such a decent human for even taking the time to reply to me. Thank you very much. 🥹
@ Skyline 🕊️ If there's one thing in life that I'm pretty sure you know at this point, is to not let fear control your world. This could go for many things not just this OCD. If we let fear control our actions and thinking all the time, we wouldn't really be living. Again I know the "what if" is what really kill at us but we can't let the imaginary scenarios dictate what we can and can't do. If you could tell me what's going to happen to you tomorrow in exact order and everything then go ahead and believe your mind, for me if you asked me that exact same question. I would simply answer "idk" I could literally walk outside, get hit by a car and die 20 days later in the hospital and no matter how much I live in my mind, I could never expect that from happening. You understand what I'm trying to say? Stop living in fear and start living yk. Go and be a mother, you sound like a good person as well, everything is going to be fine
@Anonymous This literally just made me cry.. in a good way lol. Thank you so much you’re absolutely right. You my friend have a gift for this sort of thing. Thank you seriously!
@ Skyline 🕊️ We are humans, we are bound to hit some bumps in the road and that's okay. But no matter what happens never forget to love yourself, trust yourself, value and honor yourself. I'm very touch that my words helped you. Never forget, you're NOT ALONE
Are you able to see a therapist (ideally a specialist)?
@Ben84 I am seeing a therapist outside of here who works with ocd but I only see here every 4 weeks. I have an appointment this Wednesday and tbh I’m a little scared to tell her about this new theme.
@ Skyline 🕊️ There are no guarantees, but I've shared my POCD themes with 10 different people. Three of them weren't therapists. Only 2 were OCD therapists. The "worst" reaction I ever got was the first person (not a therapist) I told said I needed to tell the father (not a therapist) of a little girl I knew. I did and he took it in stride without even knowing it was OCD. Mind you I've been working with kids for 20 years. If they're an OCD specialist, they've heard more stuff than you can imagine. You can't have certainty, but you can have confidence they will understand.
@Ben84 Wow I’m so sorry that was your experience. A lot of people are uneducated about ocd I realize that. It does bring me a little of peace to know I’m not alone. We obviously don’t want or like this hence the battle. Thank you for taking your time to share and comment.
@ Skyline 🕊️ On the contrary, my experience has been so much better than I imagined. Multiple times I've thought my career was over before it really got started. Going 20 years strong this June :-)!
@Ben84 👏You rock!! Congratulations that’s no easy feat. I’m sure you know!
I just read a horror story about someone with POCD revealing their thoughts to people and getting shunned and now im getting anxious😭. I had wanted to tell a few of my loved ones about it in a very careful way, but now am not sure if it is a good idea (one works in mental health and another does have severe mental illness). I genuinely wonder if me doing this would be exposure or be compulsive or if it’s a bad idea overall
I am typing as I sit on the couch after a mental breakdown due to the frustration and fear I have with my Suicidal OCD intrusive thoughts. I know so much about why this is happening from therapy, research, and self help books that I feel like knowing this much about my condition is almost making it harder to recover. It’s like I feel like since I logically understand my problem, why can’t I change my response to it? I know logically that these thoughts are stuck in a loop because I have assigned meaning to them and am so scared of the concept of harming myself, yet ERP/CBT hasn’t yet helped much with my ability to tolerate the anxiety. I have moments where I feel good but the sense of impending doom and feeling like I “am bound to hurt myself” always comes back. At least for the last 2-3 months since this theme and OCD flare started. I don’t have any physical compulsions that me or my therapist have been able to identify except *maybe* researching too much. But other than that, my compulsions are all mental. However, I can’t pinpoint what exactly they are. It’s also important to note that I don’t avoid anything. I still use knives when I need to, I don’t hide them like others with this theme do. Yes they can trigger anxiety but I don’t actively avoid them or other items that trigger/have potential to harm me. When I do audio exposures (listening to my voice saying I am going to hurt myself), I hold a knife to my wrist to intensify the ERP, per my therapists request… and still the same or similar level of fear behind suicidal and harm OCD thoughts is there. Has anyone dealt with this and can help provide some insight as to what helped you? Anything is helpful here except negativity.
I feel so bad..I feel really bad.I just keep thinking about something.I cant get that out of my head.For 2 years I couldnt get it.And I am so scared and concerned.Can it be because is disturbing? I think then ruminate to see what reaction I have then I feel horrible for thinking it.is so intrusive and horrible.I mentained myself for too long.Now I break down .I cant anymore.I keep having it.almost everyday.I have no reaction now..I am scared and exausted.I feel like a criminal.I feel like I enjoyed it ( it sounds terrible , I know) and I am so scared.my brain cant have a reaction anymore..I cant..Can it be because I am exausted? I am so scared and disgusted and tired.Is related to pocd..The worst theme.It started 2 years ago..I think it changed my life.I feel like I am not who I was...I feel like a monster.I want to go back how I was but idk how after these thoughts .I am scared because I had them for too long...I feel destroyed...A monster..Like I am hiding under a mask..Like no one should trust me and I dont deserve anything..I am so scared to talk to a therapist.I am scared my fears will be true..please ..any advice? Thank you if u read all this
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