- Date posted
- 1y
Doing the "RP"
What differences did you notice when you started to actually resist compulsions? Are intrusive thoughts less frequent? Less intense?
What differences did you notice when you started to actually resist compulsions? Are intrusive thoughts less frequent? Less intense?
It'll get more intense and more frequent at first as you're stressing yourself out, and then will go down gradually to a point where its almost non-existent and intrusive thoughts are just like anything else running through your head. Time span is different for everyone
Thank you!!!
@Anonymous Always remember why you're doing it when it gets tough. You're not running away from ocd, you're running towards a better life. The perception helps massively. You're not doing it out if fear but out of hope
@Wolfram Thank you I needed that. I'm feeling so burnt out in the process.
@Anonymous It's OK to take little rests. It's tougher the faster you go. The more driven you are, the easier it is. I used to have a mantra I'd repeat pretty much every morning and every time I got to my limit with Erp. "I will get better. Nothing or no one will stop me"
@Wolfram I'm going to start doing that. I had that attitude at first, quit medication and had a bad relapse so I'm picking up the pieces now and unfortunately get negative thoughts like "what if this never gets better" but I know that's not the mindset to have!
@Anonymous Something I came across recently which I'm trying is replacing the "what ifs" with "even ifs".
@Wolfram Oh I REALLY like that thank you!! You've got great advice much appreciated
@Anonymous Np. You're heading in the right direction
Comment deleted by user
So is mine!
@Lovemyzachary102. Harm ocd! Ugh π
@Lovemyzachary102. Thank you and I hope it does for you also!!
Itβs the feeling of being in denial that I struggle to deal with when trying to not do compulsions
Apparently your mind realises the thoughts arnt as important anymore because your not trying to force them anyway and get less frequent. Iβve really tried today to not do my compulsions and my anxiety is though the root when I try!! My compulsions are repeating words and ruminating!!ππ hope it gets easier
I was just thinking about how OCD tries to be tricky and switches themes on us!! The amount of times I have said to myself in the past, IF ONLY I HAD THE OLDER THEME I USE TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE THIS NEW ONE IS SO MUCH WORSE!!! Has anyone ever experienced this before? Once I started ERP therapy, I began to really start understanding what mental/physical compulsions I was doing to really keep my OCD alive! While I did this, I would also tap into my self-compassion bucket, even when it felt like it was dry at times, because it was SO easy to judge myself for because of the sheer presence of my thoughts. I would also have the most self-compassion for myself for those taboo intrusive thoughts that really felt so strong, ego-dystonic and real!!! My OCD would hop around from theme to theme and just when I thought I figured it out (compulsion) it would hop again and make me discouraged! I noticed for me that once I really understood my compulsions, it didn't matter when the theme switched as I could tackle it at its core. If I was able to stay steadfast and resist compulsions the best I could, I started to notice that my CONFIDENCE increased in the long run! I also noticed that some of the core fears were the same for different OCD subtypes. OCD treatment is hard BUT living with OCD is harder. I have experienced subtypes including Harm OCD, ROCD, Moral Scrupulosity, Sensorimotor, Contamination, Perfectionism/Just Right, Hit and Run, Magical Thinking, Real Event/False Memory. ERP therapy allowed me to really work on stopping these compulsions and switching from theme to theme. I was fed up with what OCD took from me and I needed to do something about it. I talked to an ERP therapist and it was one of the best decisions of my life. If you are struggling, keep pushing and get the help you deserve!! You got this!!!
So I've been working to address my OCD for about a month now. So far, I haven't been working on it with a therapist and have instead been trying to create my own exposure exercises. The primary obsession I'm working on is the fear that I'm somehow flawed or invalid on a fundamental level. The best way I can describe it it is that its similar to the feeling you get when you have germ OCD and you feel contaminated, except my whole existence and being feels contaminated, so to speak. I've identified a list of triggers, and a list of compulsions (pretty much all mental) that I've noticed myself performing. I started out by doing imaginal exposures and scripts where I'd write out triggering fictional scenarios and read them over and over, combined with mindfulness techniques to focus on my breath and bring myself back to the present when I noticed myself performing compulsions mentally. At first it worked to some extent, but eventually I started to feel like the stories I was writing about this obsession weren't triggering any anxiety anymore or a very low level. So I stopped reading them and focused solely on improving my ability to stay present and identifying compulsions as I perform them, and disengaging. Now, I'm at the point where it seems like my general anxiety levels throughout the day are lower, and the triggers I've identified are producing noticeably less anxiety. But that makes me wonder if somehow I'm just secretly doing mental compulsions without knowing it? Is only a month of rather disorganized and unstructured ERP enough to produce this much improvement? To avoid giving me re-assurance, I'd appreciate if you guys don't directly answer those questions, maybe just provide some possibilities or your own experiences so I can get a better idea of where I'm at. Any info would be appreciated. Thanks!
When I catch myself doing compulsions mentally during exposure sessions, it seems alot of the time like the realization that I was just doing a compulsion is more distressing than the actual trigger I'm trying to expose myself to. It feels defeating having to admit the prompt at the end that I performed a compulsion yet again. I still think I've made progress overall, and generally speaking I don't think I'm performing compulsions as much as I used to, and my distress has also gone down noticeably (not completely) but exposure sessions have been kinda tricky for me from the beginning since its all mental. Additionally, I am a bit concerned that I could start using exposures to rid myself of anxiety rather than expose myself to it properly.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond