I struggle with primarily contamination OCD however I’m starting to wonder if I also have a touch of false memory OCD. Is worrying excessively about whether or not I washed an item, or my hands, or if something touched something else and contaminated it in the recent or immediate past FM OCD? Or just part of the contamination OCD? 😊 thanks
i’m curious about this too! i always go back to wash my hands because im like…. did i actually do it? did i go over my palms? when i know damn well that i was washing my hands for 15 mins so what else could i have been doing lol
@healingheart Haha right ?! I’m like wait… did I? And then try to recreate the scenario to remember correctly for waaaay longer than I should be.
@thisaintnodisco do you count while washing your hands? and if so do you feel like you’re skipping a number? like all of a sudden it seems like i’ve forgotten to count just because i wasn’t paying 100% attention but how could i skip from 7 to 15
@healingheart I don’t also count but I can relate to the idea of doing these rituals so often and they become so regular it’s hard to keep track. Whether it’s counting or glove changing or disinfecting. Was that today or yesterday? or did I never do it at all ? Exhausting nonetheless
@thisaintnodisco OH MY GOD i do this thing where sometimes i wash over my wrist and now im wondering if that was today or yesterday? it’s been happening recently when i can’t tell when i did what and it makes me worried so i have to do it again
@healingheart Totally been there. And I’ll do it again just in case I’m remembering incorrectly. I look forward to the day where we can be free of that and live with the uncertainty😩🙏🏼
@healingheart I use to have to wash up to my elbows almost every time but I’ve cut back to only once a day. Progress.
@thisaintnodisco that’s amazing!
@healingheart That’s so sweet. Thanks. Doesn’t always feel amazing but ur enthusiasm is heart warming
@thisaintnodisco hopefully that day comes soon! i know it’s possible:) what helped me in the past was keeping busy and being kind to myself. who has time to do compulsions when you’ve gotta go to work/ an appointment! i would also have hobbies that make me happy and go out more often. i’m not doing those anymore which is probably why ive fallen back into my compulsions. but i have evidence that i can get through it and live normally, so can you!
@thisaintnodisco no seriously cutting back to once a day is insane progress instead of letting the anxiety control you!
@healingheart This is so encouraging to hear. Thank you for sharing. I’ve often wondered if I just pack my schedule will I not have time to do the compulsions but that gives me anxiety that I can’t do the compulsions. So I don’t pack my schedule. Yeah I need to get back into my hobbies and into going out more. Thank you for sharing
@healingheart 😊😊😊
@thisaintnodisco i really think you should try and get busy! it might be scary at first but accommodating to the ocd will only keep it going :(
@healingheart Right after you and I had spoken my mom called and suggested I get back into hobbies and activities outside that mildly challenge my OCD and so I’d like you to know that I signed up for a outdoor yoga class which will be challenging for my OCD but excellent for my mental health and other ways. Thanks for the inspiration!✨
@healingheart I was like OK I’m getting consistent messages that I need to add some thing outdoors into my schedule on a weekly basis. 😬😅
@thisaintnodisco IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU! that’s awesome! you should be proud! even opening up to the idea is progress :) i hope you enjoy yourself and taking in the fresh air and doing yoga will relax your mind body and soul! you’ve got this!
@healingheart 🥰♥️thank you for your kindness and words of encouragement
@healingheart I hope you find yourself in your hobbies again, at least just one. Like u said if u did it before u can do it again. The kindness you’ve showed me, take it and give to yourself.
I have the same thing. I’ll doubt whether I washed my hands for 20 seconds or not even though I have a clock that counts the seconds right by the sink and then as I walk in my room to put my lotion on my hands, I have to be absolutely sure that my hands don’t touch anything as I walk by objects like my tv, my blanket, the door, etc. I’ll say to myself “what if my hands touched the blanket” or “I was really close to the tv so they may have touched the tv” before I get to the spot on my room with my lotion. It’s weird I know. But I legitimately worry if my hands touched something along the way. So I’ll doubt it constantly. And will wanna wash hands again if I think I may have touched something before I put my lotion on. It’s all day. Even with my phone. I had my phone on bed because I was using it and then it fell forward. I think to myself “what if my phone touched my lips” and I’ll freak out about it even though I feel like a “normal” person would know if something touched something but idk I still doubt it all 😩
@helpneeded 😩I’ve been there. When I walk by some thing and I get close to a contaminated object without actually touching it I wonder if it’s possible that I did actually touch it and just didn’t realize and will often try to retrace the steps to conclude if I touched it or not. It’s exhausting. I totally understand. Especially with my phone. And will wipe it down multiple times a day.
@thisaintnodisco Don’t even get me started on the phone wiping LOL I have gone through so many curad alcohol prep wipes the past few days because I keep thinking other people are touching my phone when I’m not near it and wiping once doesn’t do it for me so hoping my Prozac starts working sooner than later! I was always on Prozac prior to my pregnancy
@helpneeded Haha the phone!!! 😩😩😩😩
So I’m curious if I have false memory ocd as well because I know I have contamination ocd for sure
@helpneeded I asked my therapist this, and she said that it may or may not be false memory OCD and that it actually doesn’t matter what type it is. But to recognize it in the moment that this is the OCD talking.
@helpneeded She also said that she hears this scenario a lot specifically with people who have contamination OCD
@thisaintnodisco I’m glad you brought that up that it’s the ocd talking. I used to go to therapy but just gave birth to a baby so I’m not doing that right now but went back to Prozac. Literally thinking my hands may have touched something else I thought was contaminated like two hours ago while I was putting my cream on my hands, and super tempted to wash hands again, then wipe down my cream pump, all in fear I may have touched something prior to it. I’m on maternity leave too so lots of free time and thinking in my mind now while baby is asleep. The old me would’ve washed hands again and wiped down my hand cream pump with alcohol and would’ve done my whole lotion process all over again but I honestly am trying really hard just like your therapist said to acknowledge that it is the OCD talking and that I probably would have known if I had touched something
@helpneeded I commend you for not re-washing. Because that is some thing that I would also do! That takes a lot of sitting with discomfort. I understand!! Can I ask you if the Prozac has helped you with the contamination OCD more than ERP if you’ve tried both?
@helpneeded Congratulations on your new baby! That must be really hard. I understand that the free time to think is really challenging. You’re doing the best you can! And it will get better🤗
@thisaintnodisco Thank you! Yeah it has been on my mind for a while now but it is what it is it’s been a couple hours now and anybody I ask who doesn’t have ocd always just says “no, you would know if you touched it” so whatever. I’ve been on Prozac since my early 20s and 30 now. ERP never was something I fully committed too but I can tell you that the Prozac has been life changing for me. It allows me to have the ocd lie dormant and doesn’t take over my life so it’s something I really advocate for because it’s been life changing honestly
@helpneeded So for me the meds do it, but I know some people don’t wanna take meds. The best is the combo but I really only need the meds without the therapy and it works perfectly for me that way with allowing me to think rationally
@helpneeded Thank you so much for sharing that about Prozac ! Ive been resisting it because I’ve had terrible experiences with SSRI in the past but I am desperate at this point to rid myself of the compulsions. That’s really encouraging to hear. Because I think the ERP may not be enough. And my life is passing me by. I may just have to give in to going on the Prozac
@helpneeded That’s great. I’m really happy for you that it works so well. I will reconsider my stance on meds again because I’m at my wits end
@thisaintnodisco Which SSRI were you on? Both of my parents are pharmacists so we are pro-med here! 60 mg of Prozac is my sweet spot and would totally recommend it to anyone with ocd
@helpneeded That is clutch to have pharmacist in the family! Zoloft in my teens and Pristiq in my 20s , going on and off particularly with the Pristiq was extremely almost intolerable. I’ve been off meds for about 10 years. Really appreciate you sharing your knowledge and experience.
@thisaintnodisco Of course! We are in this together 💪🏼
Has false memory OCD affected you so badly that you feel that a lot of your memories period are unclear, vague, fuzzy and can’t recall correctly?
I was diagnosed with OCD around the age of 6, subtype- contamination primarily. It calmed down as I got older and I assumed it had gone away, but also didn’t realize it can show up in other ways, and it still had been effecting me which I know now. I’m not 31 and I’ve been in therapy for a year and it’s helped a lot, although I sometimes get thoughts that what if some of the stuff I’m dealing with isn’t ocd and I’m exaggerating. I feel like thoughts will feel sticky and I’ll do certain compulsions but then the thought eventually vanishes if I do it a few times which makes me think maybe it’s not OCD since other people/friends I know would probably do the exact same thing. Not sure if I’m making sense, but I guess my question is if that thought comes up with anyone else? Just being unsure if something you’re doing actually is ocd or not.
Hi all, I have false memory ocd, harm ocd and pure ocd, I also suffer really badly from intrusive thoughts every single day. I was minding my nephew last weekend and I got an intrusive thought that I’m ashamed off, I’m now worried that I acted on that intrusive thought and just can’t remember, there’s also a false memory image in my head of me acting on the thought which I’m scared is actually a memory even though deep down I know I didn’t act on it. I’m worried though that the fact I even had this thought in the first place means I’m inherently a bad person who would act on these thoughts. My stomach is sick with the worry I may have acted on it and can’t Remember, anyone else ever have something like this? I start meds and therapy next week so hoping that helps
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
