nothing feels real right now? and i’m not anxious when the intrusive thoughts come. does this mean i am okay with them? or i agree with them? it feels like im changing.. i don’t want this
I know exactly how you feel, and I don’t know this for sure!! (Im not a professional) But I don’t think it means you agree with them? It could mean that you’re learning to ignore them, or if you mean numb then I’m not sure!!
Thats a super common feeling!! Its called the backdoor spike! It actually means that you are getting better and the thoughts just don’t bother you as much anymore! It can make you anxious because you aren’t as affected by them and you wonder why. But congrats this is a great sign in your recovery!!
@Anonymous ohh thank you! how can i deal with the back door spike in a good way?
@cyndi🫶 I usually say to myself “ooh im not as anxious this is proof im getting better!” And if i feel worried about not being as anxious I kind of sit with that discomfort and remind myself that if OCD is not worried about the original thoughts its gonna latch onto not being worried- its so sneaky! I try my best to laugh it off and focus on it being a sign that Im improving! Your hard work is paying off!
@Anonymous ohh okay! thank you :) it’s good to know this feeling has a name. it’s just so weird because i used to have full on panic attacks due to these thoughts and now it’s just a lil bit of discomfort but mostly just calm. but thank you anyway :)
@cyndi🫶 Yes its soooo weird but I promise you’ll get used to it!!
I know this is late but I'm going through this too it's scary
my therapist suggested that some of my less bad rocd intrusive thoughts are actually mine, and not intrusive. She ended up taking it back when she saw the alarm on my face and saw how panicked I got. I feel really freaking anxious. We were only talking about it because I mentioned a lot of doubt surrounding those less bad ones, but it only filled me with more doubt. I don’t want those thoughts to be mine. I really don’t. I feel scared and so discouraged after this session. I feel scared about the worst thoughts, what if those aren’t intrusive. I feel so much doubt.
Like I'm not even scared I feel numb and ever since that night I've completely went down hill Idk what to do the feeling i felt this time genuily felt like i liked it and i didnt even have anxiety at that moment and now I'm panicking I really hope this is still OCD like I'm sorry if I'm still asking for reassurance but im really worried like it felt good in that moment I don't understand what's going on like I hope it was a false feeling and not something real.....like this has happened before but Idk 😭😭😭😭 I really don't know what to I don't want to turn into a p word I don't this I've been sleeping all day I still do compulsions a little to get rid of the thoughts but I've been getting sexual thoughts too and I don't want them but I feel like I do I don't understand I though I was getting better but I guess every time I get better everything gets worse..
I’ve started ERP therapy with a really great therapist, and I haven’t gave into my compulsions but I still have anxiety and yesterday my brain was telling me that people were zombies😭 is this normal?
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