I was in a bad mood bc of my ocd and i was thinking about drawing something at the same time. during that time as well, i feel like my mind was asking the universe for a sign(idk i don't remember it well) and at that time, i dropped a plate and it chipped. now im too scared to draw bc it feels like a bad sign
Totally get it, we indeed might think that way when things turn out like this! But by understanding that such events and drawing or anything in that matter, technically has no relationship with each other at all might help in the long run, like plate being dropped has no relationship with us or any signs, it’s just an action, we drawing is also not tied to any such things, it’s an independent action, it’s just OCD making unrelated things completely connected and thus making us feel trapped irrationally. Hope it helps somewhat!
The only thing is I feel like my mind asked the universe for a sign and then the plate breaking thing happened :(
@ryy123 @ryy123 I can understand, when we just ask something and immediately such a thing happens, we for sure might connect both. Like it’s totally fine, I indeed did face exactly such fears, but slowly we can break that cycle by doing what we feared anyway despite those feelings of OCD, it might be really difficult at first, but I can guarantee it’s worth it, even I was exactly like fearing such irrational things so much, and back then I can’t even imagine doing otherwise, but doing what we feared due to OCD slowly by slowly anyway, especially when we know magical thinking is the issue, is the best way to make our brain understand it’s nothing bad or not things like a sign and all, but just an completely different event. I’m sure by time we can make an huge difference in our thought patterns!!
I struggle with the signs issue as well. I struggle with real event OCD and have been dealing with it 24/7 for about 8 months straight. Everywhere I go I see signs that point out what I’m obsessing about. I even have asked God to tell me if I did this past mistake and now every time I see something that triggers my ocd I wonder is God talking to me? Like asked him the other day the same question and like 15 minutes or so later I read this name on something that was UMAR IBRAHIM if you take the “M IBRA” out it says U AR HIM. Then I’m like is that my ocd or is God telling me something?
This is really complicated but it isn’t just intrusive thoughts, however I didn’t directly do the prayer. I’ll do my best to explain. I’ve been having an obsession over prayers. There have been a few bad prayers I’ve almost done and meant that are not good. A week and a half ago, I was feeling desperate and I had the genuine urge to pray for my parents to die in a way which somehow wasn’t my fault (I couldn’t be morally responsible for the prayer was another condition too), because if I attempted suicide, it would devastate them. Thankfully, I stopped myself, but that mindset stuck. If I was worried about it, it could actually put me back in that mindset where I wanted to pray for it. I know this sounds crazy. So it followed me around sometimes. OCD has found loopholes to actually doing the prayer. I have prayed to pray for certain things, meaning I am indirectly praying for it. This was sort of like that, except my mind designated that blinking while thinking of it a certain way would be a prayer. To me, this actually meant it was a prayer because of magical thinking. I ended up blinking while thinking of this, and I did regret it right after, but in that moment, I meant it. I essentially blinked during that moment to magically agree with and do the prayer. And to me, it was doing the prayer. I meant it while doing this too, but didn’t care afterwards. To me, stepping back, it does feel different than directly doing the prayer. This probably doesn’t make much sense
Basically I had a bad violent intruisve thought and I was scrolling through instagram story and on the chat box underneath my mind made me write it down on the reply box but I didn’t send it I wrote it down then got rid of it liked cleared it now I’m like why did my mind make me write that . ! Now I’m like omg why did I write that will anything happen or am I overthinking?
Like things that feel like ‘evidence’ and clues…. It’s like I can’t let these things go. I’m not talking about ‘signs from the universe’ , I mean actual real life things your ocd is using against you. Not reassurance seeking.
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