Does anyone have coping skills for being stuck in a loop with suicidal thoughts. I'm really struggling and I just went to get out of this loop I don't know why this is happening and it's like constant and I think "omg what if I do because I'm thinking it" please help.
I get this theme on and off. I tell my loved ones first. I too get freaked out. Sit with it. I personally push myself. Taking a shower and shaving, leaving random things around house that I would have to pass like scissors, pill bottles, etc. the last round I sat in my room for a good hour in front of our gun safe saying maybe I will, maybe I won't. You've got this! It sucks, but it to shall pass.
Yes to all. I dealt with depression today. I actually posted a little while ago. About wanting to be normal. Comes in waves. Fake it till you make it. Depressed, go for a walk and do things that make you happy. Reach out to a ERP therapist through this app. They help tremendously. Truly a life saver.
@proudmommy I cannot afford it :( But how did you get out? Besides what you said
@jenalynn93 By doing exposures. The theme will come back again at some point. Nocd takes most insurance.
@proudmommy I have Medicaid
@jenalynn93 Did you call nocd? I thought they now accept that? You can call insurance to get providers or even Google ERP therapist that accepts Medicaid.
@proudmommy Last night I was up all night with my thoughts on a suicidal loop non stop over and over had that ever happened to you and what do you do
@jenalynn93 Yes. Exposures. Download an app called DARE. That's another thing I used before ERP.
@proudmommy I have that! Did you also have thoughts of what if I give in, like the thoughts were racing and loud I almost went to the ER... sometimes idk anymore if it's real or not. Did you feel that way? I feel like this is my whole life and I can't escape it's hard to even function and love life how i used to and I have thoughts too like I'll never get better the old me is gone I'm gone forever is that ocd did you have tjay too
@jenalynn93 I'm trying to respond to you without giving reassurance. We are not allowed to do that. Everything you're explaining, yes I can relate. Exposures are only thing that works.
Have you had this theme before?
@proudmommy Not for years! I was doing fine I was so happy and now it's back full force. I went to the hospital twice and everything is don't even know anymore if I'm actually suicidal or what and I'm on two antidepressants I actually got really depressed too and I'm constantly thinking about suicide and I feel like I can't take it anymore and I'm always anxious and ruminating please help :(
@jenalynn93 Ok, so you've had theme before, so I'm assuming you know the drill? Thoughts are just that, thoughts. Planning means call hotline or 911. Those thoughts happen after antidepressants or before? I'm asking because my OCD wasn't nearly as bad as when I took an ssri. Came off of it, but it already opened Pandora's box š¤£ Recently learned from ERP therapist depression and anxiety go hand and hand with ocd. Are you in ERP therapy?
@proudmommy No I'm not! I was in cbt but starting dbt tomorrow.. can you give me some tips? So I had bad anxiety and then I got o. Meds and that's when everything wake started it seems to always happen that way but I'm hoping they will help? Idk
@proudmommy But if you have any skills please share :(
@jenalynn93 I'm not familiar with dbt. I did cbt for a few years, but it wasn't helping. They did grounding exercises and mindfulness. I'd ask straight away if your new therapist is familiar with ocd. ERP teaches exposures. I think YouTube and even tiktoc have suggestions for exposures as well. For anxiety I only take a mild medication (buspirone at low dose) that honestly I use just to help me sleep like melatonin. Sit with the thoughts. Don't run away or try to get rid of thoughts. It makes them worse. Telling yourself you may or may not do it. Nothing is guaranteed. Seeking reassurance doesn't help. You'll just second guess what is said or what you read. 15 years ago I was told meds are just a bandaid over actual problem. Stuck with me. I'd start with that. I push myself like I said. Fun thing about OCD is we're good at giving advice to others going through themes that we went through, but when they come up for us again it's out the window lol and fear gets us before we use our tools. I hope this theme passes for you soon. Do you have a support system? I feel our minds are stronger than the average person. We come up with such crazy thoughts in our brains.
@jenalynn93 I rambled quite a bit. Sorry. First thing is sit with it. The anxiety from the thoughts. Let them be. Don't entertain them. Or question . Just let them be present. If they pop up while you're say doing dishes you can say ok you can stay, but I'm busy doing dishes. Acknowledge and move on. When you try to run or push them away the anxiety increases and thoughts think they've won. I hope what I'm saying makes sense. I've just got out of this theme recently.
@proudmommy It's so hard :( I try to do that and then they are constantly in my head like always! Like always. Was it like that for you? Then I question if I actually want that. And yes I've tried meds so many times they never have helped me and each time I start them it's like it triggers this ocd theme! And then I get off them and I'm okay and now idk what to do because I'm praying that maybe they will help. I'm on two now. I got to a point last week I was so depressed. So bad. I couldn't function. I just want my life back. Sometimes I get so anxious and my thoughts race and I feel like I can't handle it anymore. Have you felt any of this??? Was yours constant like this? So it didn't get better till you got off the meds? Is there anything else I can do because idk if I can just let the thought pass did you get depressed too
@jenalynn93 Meds have all sorts of side effects. Every person is different. Could be a simple headache, could be increased anxiety, or in our case OCD thoughts from increased anxiety. It is what it is. We gotta learn to live with it. Can't make them go away. If we could none of us would be on here.
Iāve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didnāt realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didnāt. Hereās where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew š«) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when Iām not looking so I didnāt know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldnāt get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didnāt have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like itās getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst itās been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I canāt handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times Iām getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I canāt deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. Iām so saddened by this. Itās like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I canāt stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvementsā¦
Hi guys i hope someone will help me with this one. I have fears around suicide/mental health/ depression. From the moment i wake up to a moment iam going to sleep i have these crazy thoughts in my head: what if i will be so sad that i will commit? what if my life has no meaning so i will commit? Also i have this mixed with existential/depressed thoughts like: life has no meaning, why iam doing this it has no meaning. So i cant enjoy litterally anything anymore. I have great day and my mind always trying ti convice me that iam suicidal and nothing is going to be the same. My mind has own patterns and i feel like i cant break it down and i know iam not like this. Also words like: mental health, suicide, mentall illness, sadness trigger me so much. Can someone help me? also i have googling compulsion, i spend 24/7 on this app, watching youtube content.
About 2 months ago, I sliced my arm so deep in an attempt to make this all go away.. as there was blood spurting like everywhere my life flashed before my eyes and I could hear my parents laughing in the room beside me. I started screaming for help as my eyes flooded with tears. How could their little girl do that to herself?? I was able to get to the ER and have my arm stitched up.. making my attempt a fail. But Iām so scared. I donāt want to do something like that again. Iāve never seen my parents cry except for then. The fear in their eyes haunts me up to this day. But thatās the only thing that relieves my pain. Can someone help or relate to this ???
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