I have the urge to hurt myself and I don’t know if it’s me or my ocd honestly I feel crazy and not in control of how I feel.my thoughts keep racing.i want to cry but I’m not a cryer so I’m just keeping it in
I get the same way, you’re not alone. Some stuff that helps me when i feel strong panic and a self harm urge is putting my hands or face in super cold water, or put ice cubes in my hand, cold shower, or put it in your mouth etc. whatever works for you, experiment! also, icing your vagus nerve helps slow down your heart rate and breathing and signals your body to calm down. It helps me come back into my body and feel a sense of control. Also, crying can feel really good! You don’t need to hold it in. Everyone cries, and it is okay to feel your emotions. it’s best to let go sometimes and cry so it doesn’t feel like it is just building up :) hope this helps, and remember, you are not alone. You will find something that works for you, trial and error. I would recommend going to a therapist-they can give you ideas and techniques. :) it really helps me.
No I want to live and experience life
You’re not alone! Its gonna take work to get better but you will get better in time. When I was experiencing those thoughts I felt the exact same way. You’re not crazy and the fact that you feel so strongly about it proves that you dont want to act on it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. And its okay to cry and sometimes crying can help you regulate how you feel and bring a sense of relief. If you can try to do something you enjoy to temporarily occupy your mind.
Was watching a YouTube video and the person talked about school shootings & how people are crazy. I immediately got distressed thinking “what if i’m crazy, what if I do something as horrible as that” and got so many scary intrusive thoughts after. I feel so ashamed and i feel like a terrible person for these thoughts and some days I want to burst out crying but no tears come out, just a lot of panic & worry. I feel so shameful. And to make matters worse, later that day I saw this funny news for a video game and I didn’t remember how to spell it correctly and when I pressed search, I saw a photo of a bullet & that made me feel so damn scared. Like what if I intentionally searched for it even though I was expecting a video game. Then I started thinking about how on the news they always claim the mass shooters would be obsessed with firearms and It just made my OCD that much worse. Then my OCD goes into my past to find “evidence” that could prove I’m a horrible person that would do something like that. I can’t get these intrusive thoughts and images out and I hate it. I hate violence. I’ve talked to my therapist over and over about how I feel like this horrible person and I give her a list of all the things that I’ve done wrong and to her, she knows that it’s OCD. I would never intentionally physically harm anyone. The only time I would get into a physical confrontation is to defend myself or loved ones. I just feel like I’m going crazy
The other day I was with my mom and I had these intense urge to do this horrible thought, and a knife was in the table and I grabbed it but I grabbed it knowing that I know I was not capable of doing it and I put in the sink, I had to grab it in order for me to stop the “urge” that I was having. I love this women with all my life she’s been my inspiration to keep going forward, but ocd is telling me that I grabbed the knife because I actually wanted to do it. I don’t know if what I did was ok or not, or if I’m actually dangerous.
I am really struggling. I feel like I have a constant harm related intrusive thought in my head, causing a horrible intrusive feeling in my head. Even if I’m just simply scrolling and see someone sometimes this feeling of an intrusive thought becomes present, leading it to become horrid intrusive thoughts and feelings. I would never want to hurt anyone. Let alone do it and I’m struggling so much. I feel like I have a constant harm related intrusive thought in my head and feeling. Which is reinforced when I look at people. It goes when im distracted and then i remember the horrid feeling. I feel like bursting into tears, ive had enough. Can anyone relate? I feel like a constant intrusive thought and feeling IN my head im so sad :( I feel horrid. Scared ill go crazy.
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