Depression in marriage AND OCD..

Anyone else feel so depressed because like I’ll share what I need from my husband over and over and he continues to neglect me? He works all the time and even when he’s off he’s never present. He’s always leaving the house and doing things or just doing everything BUT quality time with me and I’m pretty sure that’s my love language. It makes it hard when I have OcD on top of that because then the only time I do see him I’m trying to get support for my thoughts and he just gets frustrated and sometimes he’s used my OCD fears against me and I feel worse for them. I feel so alone, I’ve tried to tell him how neglected I feel, but he just says he feels the same, sometimes he apologizes, but then he doesn’t really change anything. I don’t want to have to beg my husband to spend time with me or fill my needs, I’m so exhausted. And OCD and depression on top of it while having no family support, just makes me feel so utterly depressed. Anyone?

KL428

Date posted: 1y

I read your post and thought I’d share. I’ve been dealing with some issues at home, I heard my husband having a phone call with a female and he was very empathetic with her and told her she was attractive etc. this has been a major trigger for me and other things have come up over the past year which are related which keeps triggering me. My husband will not seek marriage counselling because I’m the one who needs to be fixed. I feel like nothing ever gets resolved because he doesn’t want to talk about the things that are triggering me because he doesn’t see a problem. I feel very alone and he has told me that I am destroying him by bringing up things saying I’m accusing him of things he hasn’t done that trigger me and needing to discuss them rather than just leaving it when he has said his response but I need clarity so I feel like nothing is ever resolved. I’ve asked him for support with my mental health and he had told that him staying is his support. I feel for you because being in marriage where you don’t feel supported is more lonely than being alone well at least that’s what I think. I don’t know how else to help my husband understand and I see the toll it is taking on him also. I feel like I have to fix it all of the time because we are a family and I’m the burden.

s_____

Date posted: 1y

I’m only 16 and I may not know much about love and relationships but this doesn’t sound healthy AT ALL. Like if he’s neglecting you and not changing even after talking to him AND on top of that he’s using your fears against you then girl I don’t think he loves you. I don’t know your relationship but this doesn’t sound like love at all, I’m not trying to offend you or anything. Something needs to change asap because if this continued then your depressions and ocd will only get worse and you don’t want to be in a relationship where you’re not valued. Hope this helps.

emilytravels...

Date posted: 1y

My ex husband was exactly this way and I resented him a lot for it. Even when my mom died, he couldn’t give me any kind of affection or comfort. It left me feeling so alone in my marriage. Even after communicating to him how much I needed him, etc. I finally realized that who I needed as a partner, was just not who he was as a person. That realization is what led me to file for divorce. I’m now with an incredible man whose love language is also affection and it’s been absolutely game changing. I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this though, you deserve a marriage that makes you feel valued and loved. Maybe try therapy?

clair_m88

Date posted: 21w

ROCD and house chores

Hi everyone. I’m having a really hard time today in my relationship. I am just feeling so frustrated by my back-and-forth feelings about my relationship. One day I’ll feel so good, and then the next I don’t at all. I think my biggest trigger in the house is the chores that the two of us have to do in the house. I’m much more of a clean person than my boyfriend is. I’m also thinking that he has ADHD and struggles to remember when to do specific chores and I have to remind him pretty often, but he will usually do it when I ask. Today, I’m on a huge spiral of telling myself that he is never gonna be able to learn to do things on his own, he’s not gonna be able to take care of our kids in the future If we do get married, he’s not gonna be able to help take care of our house when we do have one one day, And I am just exhausted. It’s so hard fighting these thoughts all day and then I feel like I have to sit down and talk to him about chores and obviously that doesn’t go well when I’m not feeling good. Definitely a compulsion… It feels so much better when I can just relax and just let him figure things out on his own, and I can just take care of myself. I also come from a household where I was constantly criticized and controlled in certain ways, so I have that to carry too…I’ve gotten much better at doing that most of the time but today is pretty bad. It always feels a little bit worse as well when I’m on my period and feeling very hormonal as well… Can anyone please shed some light on if they’ve experienced this before and any support they might be able to offer in relation to this? Anything would be helpful and please be kind!

Anonymous

Date posted: 21w

How to react to family who does not understand OCD

I am married and neither,my husband or children understand what it feels like to have OCD. I have had it for some time now. Sometimes ig gets better while other times it acts up and feels just awful!! During these especially awful times I worry more, voice what I am worried about, and just feels depressed. I got even more depressed whwn my family members insult me because of my ocd. I know I should not voice my worries etc ask I am thinking that is a,compulsion but sometimes I do. I regret it afterward,cuz nothing food really happens as a result. More often I am judged, called names and then I really get depressed!!!! It sometimes tanes me days to feel better acter one of those wpisodes! I guess besides not viucing my worries what can I do in a family that does so ma y things that upset me....and it would wvwn if I did nit have ocd!!! I meant WE all have to live together and trust me....there are things they so that for sure woyld have bothered me way before I had o d! ,They would bother the father and son on the TV show Sanford and Son!!! How so I just,live in same house,all the,whike pretending those things,don't bother me? I meant I am the mom. Don't I get some say so without being called names etc?

Talia_Rae

Date posted: 16w

ROCD

I am at the point where I feel like I don’t even know myself anymore and have a really hard time explaining my thoughts and feelings. The thought that no one may ever be able to help me or understand me is blazing constant in my head. I don’t know if I will truly ever be happy, the dissatisfaction I have in my life is beyond words and I try to be happy but my mind is so toxic and ungrateful. I feel that I may never understand myself. Have been dealing with extreme intrusive thoughts in regards to my relationship, if my partner is for me, if I am the reason problems come up in my relationship, if I am overly sensitive causing arguments etc. I will have constant thoughts about other people in my head although I have a partner. A hyperactive imagination of others if you will or specific individuals in my life. I have a severely low sex drive. I have also noticed recently that my partner will say things that I don’t like but can’t tell if he’s the problem or if i’m the problem. If I like my partner anymore or if I don’t, can I see him in my future or not. When I am with him I enjoy being with him but there is always a thought in the back of my head of do I just like being around him as a friend because I am lonely or if I truly love them. It’s to the point where I question leaving them or not. My only issue is that I don’t want to leave but at the same time I have trouble feeling emotionally and sexually connected. I even pick at physical imperfections that they may have which to my true beliefs does not matter I will love them otherwise. We recently have been arguing a lot and I can’t tell if I am the problem or he is but it causes me a lot of stress because I feel misunderstood and feel like he wouldn’t understand me unless he was me. It can be hard explaining OCD to him because he is one of those people who loves to self help almost like a life coach, explains to me that anxiety doesn’t exist and that I can help myself or stuff along those lines. It hurts so bad because he doesn’t understand how hard it is for someone with OCD and how him saying things like that only makes it worse and makes me want to turn away from him in a way. I want to feel like I can talk to my partner and that I know for a fact is my true belief. I pray that God will heal me of this terrible disease. I feel I have turned away from the Lord so much because of how alone and misunderstood I feel with what feels like no change. When I’m in public I’ll look at a guy and feel as though because they looked at me back they will think I like them or that I may be interested even though i’m not. I obsess in my head sometimes about real people I know that are kit my partner and have just learned to accept that but it’s still disheartening to me. I understand the concept of being with a partner and still finding other people attractive without obviously doing anything about it and I try to remind myself of that. Please someone tell me this is OCD because the thought of it not is sickening. Another thing I do is compare myself to other girls my age almost that if i’m not as pretty as them im not pretty at all. To whom ever reads this please be very mindful of how you respond because I am triggered very easily. But I am so so lost.

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Depression in marriage AND OCD..

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