My ocd has been acting up and making me feel really scared. I guess some things I’ve seen have really triggered me and my thoughts are just so loud now. I just want to be able to enjoy Christmas tomorrow without being pestered by intrusive thoughts 😔I wish it would just go away :(
I understand. I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I hope you're able to enjoy tomorrow. But try not to stress about it. If tomorrow is less than perfect, so what? There's only so much you can do anyway. And I don't just want you to enjoy tomorrow, but every day. If you want to talk, I'm here to listen. :)
@Anonymous Thank you so much for your kind words! I will be sure to reach out if I need it. 🤍🤍
@myfunnyvalentine No prob. Reach out any time you need to talk :)
Hi, I have gone through the same thing. A few years ago it was Christmas and I got the most massive panic attack. The years after that I was so worried that I would get another panic attack, and it suddenly became a yearly tradition. It sucks. It really feels like the end of the world. But let me tell you dear, it gets better. I am 19 now and I didn’t think I would ever get better or get to a point where I could enjoy the holidays. Now it’s one of my favorite days. The trick that helps is to accept any anxiety you have. Accept that you may or may not have a bad day. Even expect it to be a shitty day. That takes the pressure off of the holidays and allows you to enjoy it without any extra fear trying to ruin your day. Even if you have a rough day, or are struggling, it’s not always going to be this way. It’s not a terrible thing to happen, even if it feels that way.
@Rumpelgoocher Thank you so much!!! Today had its ups and downs, but it was a good day! When my on set ocd happened, it was right before Christmas in 2020. The past two Christmas holiday’s have been really good for my ocd, but this year it started acting up again. I’ve been afraid I’m going to relapse and I will at rock bottom like I was 2 years ago, but I am trying to go on with life and accept uncertainty. My ocd hasn’t been as present recently so my intrusive thoughts have been a little harder to handle now, but I’m trying to be strong. Thank you for your kinds words and I hope you had a merry Christmas ❤️🎄
@myfunnyvalentine I hope you had a merry Christmas as well! :)
It's one of those days where I can't get out of my head, the anxiety feels so debilitating, all I can do is cry, the intrusive thoughts won't stop and I can't keep myself from my compulsions, I feel so alone, my fear of hallucinating sounds went to fear of hallucinating people or things, to the worst of all fear of becoming delusional, my mind is plagued with "delusions" that I've read online through all the compulsive research I've done, earlier I saw a shadow next to a light pole and my mind immediately went "what if little people are watching you" my grandmother had delusions like that growing up so that's where it comes from I think, no I don't actually believe that little people are watching me but what if I do believe it, what if I am psychotic, what if I start believing people are out to get me, im so terrified I can't shake the fear of this I can't accept it I don't know how, im terrified that my ocd will forever plague my mind and I will never feel better I'll always be fighting this monster and I will never feel peace again, I don't want to be alone in a mental hospital, I don't want to go to the doctor and them tell me I'm crazy or psychotic, I don't want to become a burden to my family, i dont want to scare my family please I just want to feel better 😭😓 I don't want reassurance about the intrusive thoughts I just want someone to tell me it'll get better and I won't feel stuck forever
This isn't forever, and I'm trying to stay positive, but I'm so uncomfortable in my own body. I can't stop hyperfocusing on every little sensation I experience, especially when I have intrusive thoughts. I can't stop holding my my breath or tensing up when I experience them. I know it's a compulsion, but I genuinely feel so unsettled. The physical sensations of anxiety aren't really there. Like, I'm not nauseous, but I just feel... off. I hate my mind, I hate these thoughts. Like, I wish OCD didn't attack every single thing in my life. I'm feeling really gross right now. I haven't been able to cry in so, so long. It's probably due to my meds, but I miss having that emotional release... Just a mini vent. I've been really struggling against the urges to confess/seek reassurance. One more week until my next psychiatrist appointment, but I'm just really frustrated with my brain right now.
Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
